Worthington Christian HS Principal,Tim Kraynak's Journey: Building a Legacy of Fatherhood, Faith, and Integrity in Education and Coaching

https://www.amazon.com/Boys-Wont-Be-Tenth-Anniversary/dp/B0CTK27V9G
Join Coach Tim Brown, on this Special Fathers edition of Be A Baller Podcast as I,  sit down with Tim Kraynak, the principal of Worthington  Christian High School, to uncover the essence of standing out. Tim opens up about his deep-rooted values, instilled by his father and nurtured through a spiritual journey that began at just 12 years old. We delve into the unique dynamics of fatherhood, particularly within the realm of sports, as Tim shares heartfelt stories of coaching his sons and navigating the balance between expectations and fostering positive relationships.

 Discover how reading "Boys Won't Be Boys" with his teenage son initiated pivotal conversations about maintaining individuality and family values in a conformist world. We also tackle the core principles fathers impart to their sons, emphasizing the importance of calmness, control, toughness, humility, and communication. This episode is a heartfelt exploration of the lifelong journey of parenting, replete with emotional highs and lows, and underscores the enduring legacy of integrity, service, and hard work.

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:00

I think we live in a culture where it's easy to blend in and it's very, very difficult to stand out. So for me, when I talk about uncommon, when Eli and I talked about this book, we kind of equated the word uncommon to standing out. It's hard to stand out in our culture today because there's a lot of people that blend in out in our culture today. Because there's a lot of people that blend in. You don't have to do much to blend in because you can just kind of go with the flow and you're not really seen. But when you do something, that's counterculture, it's against the grain, it's more of a standout behavior. You're standing up for something you have conviction. To me, those are all things that are representative of being uncommon.

Speaker 2: 0:43

Welcome to Be A Baller Podcast where we discuss how to build a lifelong legacy. I'm your host, coach Tim Brown. This month we're doing a special edition of the podcast. I've also authored a book Boys Won't Be Boys and Palm Boys Live Uncommon in a Common World, and this actually is the 10th anniversary of the book, so I'm excited about that. And I have a young man here in the studio who, him and his son, actually read the book, went through the book, and so we're going to discuss that about fatherhood. So today, welcome to the show Tim Kranjak, who's the principal at Worthing Christian High School.

Speaker 1: 1:17

Thanks for having me. It's a privilege.

Speaker 2: 1:19

Yeah, I've known you for a while, watched you and your family, your dad and all that, and when I was thinking about doing this episode I said who better to talk about that relationship between a father? And now you have two sons a generational thing. So in this podcast today we'll talk about some of those life lessons that you learned from your dad. But first of all, just jumping right in, let's talk about the relationship between you and your dad growing up. Yeah, can you talk about that?

Speaker 1: 1:45

Absolutely. I would say that one of the things that sticks out in my mind in terms of the relationship with my dad and I is my dad always tried to teach me the value of respect, the value of hard work, the value of how we treat women, and also centering everything on the word of God. My dad was a great spiritual mentor to me, and oftentimes we would have deep rooted discussions in terms of God's word and using his word to guide as a guide map for our lives, and so I'm so thankful for the investment that my dad had in my life, and it certainly has impacted me in terms of the way that I father my kids.

Speaker 2: 2:29

So as you think about that. You know all of us and we grow up with our parents. We watch them and their relationship with the Lord. When did when did it become real to you? When did God really become real to you?

Speaker 1: 2:40

yeah, I would say when I was 12 years old was that moment? I mean? It's a flashball of memory for me. I can remember, just like it was yesterday, being in my older brother's room.

Speaker 1: 2:51

My parents always told me that I had a personal relationship with the Lord, that I accepted him, when I was on vacation Bible school when I was four but who remembers when they're four? So for me I wanted it to be authentic. I wanted it to be something that I owned, and I remember my parents and I sat down in my brother's bedroom one evening and I wrote out a letter in terms of my understanding of who I was and who Jesus was and what salvation meant. And it was that evening that I decided to give my life to Christ. And for me, that was when it became real. That's when it was not just my parents talking to me and imparting faith to me, but then it became my own. And obviously, at 12 years old, there's a lot of life experience that you don't have and you're certainly not mature yet, but that's when I can remember that was the day that I gave my life to Christ.

Speaker 3: 3:41

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Speaker 2: 4:19

As you journey through life. Sports is a big deal in the family.

Speaker 1: 4:23

Yeah, absolutely.

Speaker 2: 4:24

You know we have a lot of speak to some of these dads about this whole sports thing, relationship with dads and sports.

Speaker 1: 4:30

Yeah, it's such an interesting dynamic. As a father, I live it out. My oldest son is 22. He was a college athlete. I had the privilege of coaching him for two years in high school. That was actually the first time I coached my son, ethan um, at the varsity level in baseball.

Speaker 1: 4:48

Very challenging as a father because I had makeup as a coach. And then I bring my son into the equation and there were a lot of obstacles that we had to work through Um and so over my 20 years of coaching um, I got to see it done the right way and I got to see it more times than not done the wrong way. How much pressure dads would put on their sons, uh, in the athletic arena, understanding that value and identity um probably was consumed um in all of the wrong places. Um, and really allowing me to have perspective in terms of what's most important for me and my relationship with my boys and now my younger son, eli um. I have the opportunity to coach his um travel baseball team and so the dynamic with him is much different um in terms of yeah.

Speaker 1: 5:37

So I I feel like the experience that I've had, um, I've tempered my expectations. I've also I've kind of changed the way that I respond to him. I kind of have this rule that I don't coach my son. If I'm coaching his team, one of my assistants or a couple of my assistants will coach him.

Speaker 1: 5:57

It's hard to play the role of dad when you're coach, but I try to take a backseat as much as possible and our conversations after games or after practices center on who you are as an individual, where your value comes from, and he's loved unconditionally, no matter what. No matter what his performance is good, bad or indifferent. We try to center all of our conversations on what does athletics have to teach you as a young man? It's not always performance-based. It's the value of being a great teammate, it's the value of having a great attitude, being coachable. It's the value of learning how to push through adversity. When things don't go your way, how do you respond? These are all life lessons, and so I've chosen to shift my focus with my youngest son, Eli, in regards to what we really value and talk about as it relates to sports, and the book to be quite honest with you helped frame some of those conversations.

Speaker 2: 6:50

So it was interesting how we we practice on those first.

Speaker 1: 6:53

on the first one, yeah, for sure, yeah, yeah. That's why you have lots of kids.

Speaker 2: 6:58

They will become a little bit better and a little bit better. And then we get to the grandkids. We really become good.

Speaker 1: 7:02

That's exactly right.

Speaker 2: 7:03

Speaking of that. Let's talk about your father and his relationship and his dynamic with your sons.

Speaker 1: 7:08

Yeah, so the great thing about my parents, and my dad especially, is they're the ultimate supporters.

Speaker 1: 7:15

So there's 10 grandkids between my mom and my dad and, to be quite honest with you, my parents are at everything, and so my kids have had the privilege of growing up any kind of an event, whether it's a sporting event, whether it's a play, whether it's a concert, my parents are at everything.

Speaker 1: 7:34

So, for my boys especially, they have seen my dad be present at everything, leaving the legacy that when you're around, there's an investment in relationship. You communicate more by your presence than you do by your absence, and so I think so many, so many young men today maybe don't have a father figure who's there often, and so for my boys, I'm so thankful that even my dad has been able to be around as much as he is, and the fact that he works at the same school that they attend, I think, is a blessing in disguise as well, too. They get to see him a lot, and they know him to be someone who loves the Lord. They know him to be someone who is principled and is a man of character. And yeah, I mean, the name means something and the reputation means something as well too.

Speaker 2: 8:23

So you were blessed to have your dad in your life. What are some other male mentors along the way? Because I think a lot of times, guys and I learned this as a parent you know you can't be all things Right that you need some other positive males to pour into your son as well. Talk about some of those other male models, role models, in your life.

Speaker 1: 8:45

Yeah, I think for me growing up, because sports was such a huge part of my life, I had the privilege of playing for many coaches over an extended period of time and when I was in high school, I would say Coach Penn, mike Penn, coach Ray Slagle were great mentors for me. Then, when I got to the college level, I had the privilege to play baseball. Coach Bob Starcher, who was my first college coach, was a really committed and devout Christian and I had a great relationship with him. Unfortunately, he passed away after my freshman year in college freshman year of college but I would say those three men in the athletic arena played a pivotal role in helping shape me in terms of who I, the man that I've become today.

Speaker 1: 9:33

Coach Slago and I didn't have the best relationship, but I learned how to value our relationship over a period of time because of the struggle. We had a lot of knockdown, drag out conversations because we didn't always see eye to eye, but at the end of the day, I knew that God used that experience in high school basketball because he knew I was going to be a coach for 20 years and I was going to have to draw from some of those experiences. Coach Penn, the man of integrity and character, always concerned about representing the Lord, and so he and I had a great relationship because he loved baseball and so did I. And Coach Starcher.

Speaker 1: 10:11

In a time for me when it was a transition period in my life I moved away from home, I was in college, and it's just an uncertain period of time. He was really a staple for me, a foundational piece in my freshman year of college. He was really a staple for me, a foundational piece in my freshman year of college, and he was a mentor. I mean. I remember we met many times in the fall and in the winter just to talk about life, talk about transition and talk about our relationship with the Lord. So those three men, I would say, played a pivotal role in my development.

Speaker 2: 10:37

You read the book Boys Won't Be Boys with your son? Yeah, can you talk about some of the unique conversations that generated between father and son?

Speaker 1: 10:46

Yeah, I think that it was interesting because at first I thought, well, you know, we're going to sit down and read this and I wonder how much response I'll get from my son. You know 14, 15-year-old kids. Sometimes it's kind of like, hey, how was your day? That was good, what did you do? Not much. So trying to coax some of that stuff that's inside to get it out to have conversation can be a very difficult thing to do. But the one thing that I noticed right away was, even in the first chapter, the discussion questions at the end, when we started talking about being uncommon, I was surprised at how much Eli had to share, and so for us it was like the next night he wanted to read that second chapter and we wanted to have those discussions again and we were able to talk about some things that had happened at school in terms of identifying common versus uncommon behaviors. So it was a really good springboard for us into having some deeper conversations that probably needed to happen earlier in our relationship. So I was thankful for that.

Speaker 2: 11:56

You know, the focus of the book is Empowering Boys to Live Uncommon in a Common World. As you think about that word, uncommon things, that to me, when I wrote about it, I started thinking things that are uncommon today were common back when we grew up, so to speak, and I read about those things you talk about, respect and honesty. It was just common things, you know. So what does that word uncommon mean to you? You see, today's world.

Speaker 1: 12:22

I talk about this a lot at school. I think we live in a culture where it's easy to blend in and it's very, very difficult to stand out. So for me, the word when I talk about uncommon when Eli and I talked about this book, we kind of equated the word uncommon to to standing out. It's hard to stand out in our culture today because there's a lot of people that blend in. You don't have to do much to blend in um, because you can just kind of go with the flow and you're not really seen. But when you do something, that's counterculture, it's against the grain, it's more of a standout behavior. You're standing up for something you have conviction. To me, those are all things that are representative of being uncommon.

Speaker 2: 13:08

That's good. That's good. As we dive into the book a little bit, there's a chapter in the book you kind of mentioned this earlier talks about the importance of your name. You know, when you think about Craig, what does that family name mean and how do you represent your family?

Speaker 1: 13:23

Yeah, so for me, when I was growing up, my dad my dad served in the military. His dad served in the military. He was a pilot in World War II. So we had a lot of those conversations when I was growing up and being able to meet my grandfather, joe. Unfortunately, I didn't have the privilege of knowing him for a long time. He passed away early when I was a kid.

Speaker 1: 13:47

But understanding the value of service, the value of hard work, character and integrity, that your name stands for something, these are all things that, especially when we talked about that chapter, we talked about the Cranach name and what does that mean? The question I asked him. I said, eli, when people think of the Cranach name and the Cranach men, when you think of your papap, what do you think of? And he said I think of someone who loves the Lord, someone who's kind and caring and compassionate, somebody who would do anything for anyone.

Speaker 1: 14:17

Um, and so we we were able to have that conversation about when people think about you, when they think about your name, what do they think about? What do you want them to think about when they think about me, what are things that people think about? Um, so, being a person of character, being a person of integrity, being a person who is not afraid to put your name behind something that you believe in. How do you respect others, how do you treat women, how do you value relationships? So a lot of really good conversation came out of that chapter.

Speaker 2: 14:51

Good, good, you know, as you communicate, what messages are you, as a dad, trying to instill in your sons? You know, and I preface this way, I tell men all the time, a lot of things from dads is not necessarily sit down and talk. It's called, yeah, it's called. So give us some of those examples and some of those things that that, in a sly way, you're trying to show your son hey, this is how you're supposed to do it.

Speaker 1: 15:15

Yeah, that's a really good question, um, I think that actions speak louder than words, right, and?

Speaker 1: 15:26

And so when you're around, you have the ability to be able to respond and act, and your kids, especially your boys, can see that. So I feel like um, because I've been able to spend so much time with my son in the athletic arena. He's been able to watch me and how I've responded in adverse situations when things don't go my way, and we've been able to talk through some of those things. Now that he's older and he can understand on a deeper level and more abstractly, we can have those conversations, um, and so I, yeah, I think that, um, it's just, it's important to be honest and authentic in your responses. I think oftentimes today we equate toughness, we equate being able to push through things as a common value that all men have, and it's some kind of a macho quality equality, but on the other side of that, humility, being able to communicate effectively and being able to really be a- person who can stand behind something that you believe in is really important as well too.

Speaker 2: 16:36

Now you're all calm in here. I wouldn't ask your kids, you're always this calm, but I tell you I heard this from someone. It made so much sense that the man has to be the calmest one in the room. We've got to be the calmest one in the room Because if we're on 10 or whatever, everybody else is going to be there. But they're watching us. Like you said, they're watching how we react to things. If we're calm because you watch good coaches, they're just over there. Teams turn the ball over doing all that and the coach just just call yeah, there's men.

Speaker 2: 17:08

But I think that's something that we, as men, have to grow into. We have to grow into, like you said, we want to be massive, we want to put the fires out, we want to be tough, you know, but but we have to understand the value of being calm, being in control, being in control, you know, and then not just being on 10 all the time. So I think that's so important and, like I say, as soon as they're watching, it's a blessing they got to see you, because you know that adversity comes with coaching. You know how you handle the umpire. Make a bad call, you know you run out there kicking the dust on him or whatever you know. But at the same time I think our boys have to know we're going to defend them. They know we're going to defend them, that they don't look anywhere else. You know back in the day we would say my dad could beat your dad you know I'm going to say that you know.

Speaker 2: 17:50

But I think our boys have to know that we are defenders and I think that in turn translates into when they become husbands, when they become fathers, that they know their role is to protect the family. You know to be that defender in the right way, in the right way and in that calm way, diffusing situations first and doing it that way. What word of encouragement? It's a different society, different way boys are trying to raise sons today. What word of encouragement do you give to fathers today who are raising sons, and even mothers as well? Because you've probably seen being a principal, I'm sure you've seen some mothers who come in your office and say, mr Craig, I don't know what to do with my son, I don't know what man he's doing this, he's doing that. What word of encouragement would you give to them?

Speaker 1: 18:31

Yeah, I think parenting is the ultimate joy in life there can be. Oftentimes you can feel like you're on a roller coaster. You can feel like the highest of highs when your kids are going well. You feel like you're on a roller coaster. You can feel like the highest of highs when your kids are. Your kids are going well, you feel like everything's great, and then when something goes wrong, it feels like everything's spiraling out of control. When your kids are struggling, as a parent you feel helpless. It's a really tough place to be. When your kids are experiencing triumph or joy, it's kind of like man, this is the best thing in the world. But you know something's coming inevitably.

Speaker 1: 19:07

So for me, I think it's understanding that as a parent, you're never going to do everything right, but your intent is always to try to always teach and coach through those moments, no matter what they are. We talk about the continuum. Oftentimes in coaching you never want to be on the extreme high or the extreme low. You want to be right in the middle because you know at some point something's coming and you've got to have good, balanced perspective for that. So my encouragement to parents would be to stay in the game and understand it's a marathon, it's not a sprint, and you never stop being a parent, even when your kids are.

Speaker 1: 19:45

I think I'm 48 and my parents are 77. They never stopped parenting me. They just never do, and so I think that's an awesome privilege to understand. So it's not like you're just raising your kids to get them out of the house and once they're gone now they're on their own. You're always invested in their relationship as long as they're here on earth, and so my encouragement to parents would be it's never too late to run the race with faith and endurance.

Speaker 2: 20:11

Yeah with faith and endurance. That's the key word there faith and endurance.

Speaker 1: 20:15

Be in it for the long haul, yeah and you got to have other people around surrounding your kids. It takes a village to help raise your kids, so I talk about this a lot of times with my kids is who you hang around with is going to shape the trajectory in your life. So surround yourself with people that are going to point you in a positive direction. People are going to pull you closer to Jesus.

Speaker 4: 20:36

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Speaker 2: 21:41

You know, you just said something great there. You know, as men sometimes we feel like we're on an island. You know that we're the only one going through something. Yep, you look at other homes kids are doing great, they seem like everything is just wonderful. You look at your family, like why can't I have that? You know, I think that was a great word of encouragement, just to hang in there. There will be those highs and lows, you know, and everybody goes through it. You know, we just have to be honest about it. All of us go through it. There's no perfect home. There's only one perfect person. That was our Lord and Savior, jesus Christ. You know, we all have those Amen.

Speaker 2: 22:12

And for our book we have people alongside of us, like they're young adults. So this is a whole different deal, a whole different, you know. For us, you know, but we rely on persons who have gone through that, you know, and kind of encourage us to hang in there, you know, as we come around the corner, would you? What recommendation? Would you recommend the book Boys Won't Be Boys to fathers, mentors, male youth groups as a resource, helping and teaching young men today to get them on that uncommon path?

Speaker 1: 22:50

Yeah, absolutely. I think the question can be well, what, at what point should you read this book? I think of my younger brother, michael. He has his son's going to be two years old here in August and I think, man, it's not too early for him to start reading this book.

Speaker 1: 23:06

Um, now, clearly, he can't have deep rooted conversations with his son, but I think in the culture that we live in today, if you're raising young men or if you are thinking about starting a family, um, I think it's a great opportunity for for any young man who is an aspiring father, who dreams of having a family or boys, to read this book. Um, I think that any dad who has boys now it's an absolute must read, and here's why I think that the content is so profound and it's so simple to digest. Like again, I said this earlier I was so surprised at how communicative my son was when we were reading through the book. He always had something to say and in every chapter, things just made sense. The way in which the content is delivered is so easy to digest and the analogies are so practical that it creates an open door for easy conversations with your boys. So I would say anyone who is a father of boys should give this a read, and anyone who's thinking about having kids absolutely should give it a read. Thanks, I appreciate that.

Speaker 2: 24:24

Yep, Well, Tim. Mr Craig, this brings us to the end of this episode. I want to thank you for being our guest today. Absolutely and sharing your wisdom and knowledge with the audience and just so proud of what you've done with your sons and the kind of young men that they are. You know we as dads. The Bible says just train up a child in the way they should go when they only want to part.

Speaker 1: 24:45

I was literally just thinking of Proverbs 22, 6, when you were saying that that would be an encouragement to parents?

Speaker 2: 24:50

Yeah, because that's the one, you know. Our job is to train them up and then at some point we have to release them to the them, I believe this boys won't be boys At least plants the seeds. And as I share this book around town, my biggest thing is that, for the book is that one man plants For some reading this book is planting some seeds, another one waters and a lot is. They've heard this from dads, they've heard it from their fathers, I heard it from mentors, they've heard it from their fathers and whatnot heard it from mentors. So just pour some water on it, but ultimately God gets the increase, and the increase is godly men, godly men. That's the increase. That's what God wants. He wants godly men. So I want to encourage the audience to pick up a copy of the book Boys Won't Be Boys, available on Amazon or you can go to CoachTimBrowncom. So, tim, thank you for being part of the show today.

Speaker 2: 25:44

Absolutely Thanks for having me Appreciate you. Hope this episode was an informative, enlightening discussion on building a legacy in fatherhood. As always, thanks for listening to Be A Baller Podcast.

Speaker 5: 25:58

If you enjoyed our show, please share this podcast with family and friends. Be A Baller Podcast is available on all major podcast stations. Be sure to come back next week as we continue to discuss on how to build a lifelong legacy. Until then, don't forget to be a baller. This podcast was created by Coach Tim Brown and produced and edited by the video production class of Worthington Christian High School. Thank you.