BE A BALLER -"Building a lifelong legacy"

Debbie Simmons: From Loss to Legacy | Building Resilient Families & Faith-Filled Leadership

• Coach Tim Brown, Uncommon Life • Season 6 • Episode 5

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Hard moments don’t just test us—they reveal the legacy we’re building.
In this powerful Be a Baller: Building a Lifelong Legacy episode, Coach Tim talks with Debbie Simmons—author, speaker, and founder of Anchor Point—about turning loss into purpose and living focused, faithful, and fearless.

Debbie shares lessons from adopting nine children, leading through trauma, and growing a Houston nonprofit that serves families with compassion and strength. Her story shows how taking the next best step can rebuild a life, a home, and a community.

🎧 Listen now for tools to breathe through chaos, lead with grace, and live your legacy today.

#Legacy #Faith #Leadership #Resilience #DebbieSimmons #AnchorPoint #BeABallerPodcast



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SPEAKER_00:

Legacy for five last legacy market live on both rounds at even generations to come. So if you're looking for inspiration, guidance, and practical tips on how to build a lasting legacy that makes a difference, then you're in the right place. So grab your earbuds, get comfortable, and let's dive in. It's time to be a baller.

SPEAKER_01:

This is Coach Tim Brown, and I'm excited as we begin our sixth season of Be a Baller Podcast. If you haven't already, please remember to subscribe to the show. On today's show, I'm excited to welcome author, speaker, and legacy coach Debbie Simmons. Debbie's a mother nine through the miracle of adoption, a woman whose extraordinary legacy was forged in the flames of found loss. At the heartbreaking death of her quadruplus, Debbie's journey through grief became a catalyst for purpose-driven growth, inspiring her to found anchor point faith-based nonprofit that empowers families and equips leaders to navigate trauma with clarity and strength. Debbie is truly a mighty woman of faith. And I know her faith has seen her through a a lot of situations in her life. And now with the release of her latest book, and I'm so excited to have a copy of this. The title of the book is The Heart of Legacy: Living a Focused, Faithful, and Fearless Life. Debbie invites listeners to discover how resilience, faith, and leadership can transform adversity into lasting impact. Her strategies for building a life on legacy that truly matters. Debbie, welcome to the show.

SPEAKER_03:

Hi, thank you. I'm excited to be here with you guys.

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah, you're a long way away. I'm in Palamas, Ohio, and you're down there in the heart of Texas, uh, Houston. Houston here.

SPEAKER_03:

Yeah, yeah, right where NASA is. That's where I sit.

SPEAKER_01:

Good stuff. Good stuff. You know, your journey to building a lifelong legacy begins uh with a story marked by both profound loss and incredible hope. Can you share with listeners how the loss of your jubilant shares your perspective on legacy and purpose?

SPEAKER_03:

Yes. Okay. So what I would say is, hey, you know, kind of buckle your seatbelt. It has some highs and it has some lows. But, you know, everybody has dreams in their life. And my dream was to be a young grandma. And uh I, you know, I'm a girl that gets things done, so I knew I had to find a guy, fall in love, get married, have children, then I can be this young grandma. And so I sat off on that when I went to college. You know, I did get my engineering degree too, but uh found the guy and I fell in love, got married, and you know, you would think the rest of the steps would be easy. Um, but we ran into infertility for years and years and years and just nothing. And then finally we did get pregnant, so we were very excited about that. Um, and after an attempted miscarriage, we got kind of the surprise of our lives, and that was that I was carrying quads, not one, two, three, but four boys. Uh and that was kind of a real shocker, and we had to learn to trust God each step of the way as we went through this because that's a very high risk pregnancy and everything. And our goal, of course, became to get those babies to 30 weeks, and not such an easy task. I mean, I always tell people, think about it. I mean, have you eaten for five lately? Every day, you know, every day, every meal, right? And I'm like, that's a big deal. Um, and so we just continued walking, but you know, the fog kind of rolled in in that situation. And as sometimes it does, um, and at 26 weeks, I found myself standing in water and realized that one of the baby's sacks had ruptured. They sent me to the hospital. Um, and the next morning, contractions came crashing in, and one of the boys had stuck his hand through my stitch cervix and was waving to the world, hello, I'm coming. And I am like, no, this is too soon. I beg the doctor, can you stop this? I just no, let's pretend like this never happened. Um, and she was like, No, you're gonna have to deliver this baby. And um, you know, when faced with that, I breathed and just went, okay, I gotta figure my way through this. Um, right. There's no, it's not like I can check out and just go home. Um, I gotta, I gotta walk through this, even though it's even though it's not like what I want. And um, so they sent me off into surgery back into the room. And a few hours later, little Zach arrived and they placed him in my arms. And um, I held him and I rocked him until he drifted off into eternity. And uh the fog still continued to rise because the question became would my body reject the other three, or would I be able to carry them? And we waited. Um, time passed, and the doctor came back in, and she said, You're gonna have to deliver the other three. I had gotten very, very sick, and um, my body was rejecting them, and there was nothing really they could do. And so um a little while later, Josh, Nate, and Chris arrived on the scenes, and they placed each of them in my arms, and I held them and I rocked them and I loved them until they drifted into eternity. And then with empty arms and broken hearts, um the fog settled in like a heavy cloak of trying to figure out what to do next. And here's, you know, really in that hospital room that night, you don't go to the hospital with these plans of um planning funerals. Uh, you go with plans of celebrating births, right? And so, yeah, so here we sit with four funerals that we need to figure out. And I just remember trying to search and just go, how how do I get through this? This is so hard. I don't I don't understand. And I remember just finally turning to God and going, I don't know any other way to get through this. I've thought of everything I could think of, I tried everything, and I need I don't know what to do but to ask you. And he was like, Well, you need to give up your question of why to me, because that's the question that we all like to ask when faced with difficult situations is why me, why my boys, why this situation, why, why, why, why, why? And God, and I was like, God, I don't want to give you my why because it's actually the last thing I have to hold on to. If I could just get this right answer, then everything I could figure my way. Um, and what I realized, and what he was prodding me for was the fact that, you know, there is no satisfactory answer to why. Any answer that anybody would have given me, or God himself would have given me if he'd have showed up and stood in front of me in that room, would not bring my boys back. It would not end my pain, it would not, it would not make it, it wouldn't make it any better, right? Knowing the answer to that. And so, why is a very, very stuck question. It's a very internal question, and it causes me to look inside, and I really get paralyzed and uh bitter and everything when I stay on that question. And so God just graciously said, give me that question. And finally I said, Okay, I'll give you my question. But then I was like, now what in the heck do I do? I don't know what to do now. You took that away. That was my security blanket. Now what do I do? And he was like, Ask a different question. And so he taught me uh some valuable things. He taught me to learn to ask the question when in a hard situation, how do I survive? And that question is an outward focus question. It's not an inward focus question, like why? And how do I survive means I can figure my way, right? And I was like, okay, how do I survive? I don't know how to do this. And it came down to two things learning to breathe, which simply gave me the ability to move from my amygdala, my emotional kind of center of my brain, up into my prefrontal cortex, where we can make good decisions. You know that when they tell you, hey, if you have this text you got and you want to write this snappy text back, and they say, Don't do it immediately. Write it and don't send it and check it like in three minutes. That's that's the amygdala part of your brain. And then when you go back and look at it, your prefrontal cortex goes, that was the dumbest thing in the world. Don't send that, you know. And so we want to get into that prefrontal cortex where we can think and not just live out of our emotions. And um, I began to do that, and he was like, Okay, when you do that, then I want you to figure out what the next best step is. And it didn't have to be anything huge, it just needed to be positive movement. And so I began to ask that question what's the next thing I could do? What's the next best thing I could do? And some days that was simply pull the covers off my head, get out of the bed, go brush my teeth, and get back in the bed. But it was positive. Uh, and I made some movement. And the next day, maybe I could take on something, a task in the house, or eventually I could go out and do things and then eventually go back to work. But here's what I learned: I learned that, you know, I figure out what my next best step is with wise counsel or anybody around me, or just I land on something good and I try it. And so out of faith and obedience, I take my next step. God faithfully shows up and he shines the light at my on the path at my feet and shows me the next step. And so I do the next step and he guides me, and the next step and the guides me. And that process is actually the process of how our faith muscle is built, is obedience and and everything in this step. He meets us, we do it again. And it doesn't mean I get every step right, or you and I get every step right, but the long-term goal is forward progress, right? And so as we do that, one step becomes two, becomes 20, becomes we're able to do everything. And that is actually how healing actually happens. And in that process, as I began to heal, then the question began to change. God said, Start asking me, how do I thrive? Because God is a redeemer of stories, and he wants to use those stories to help other people and to bring people to know him. And so I was like, God, I don't want to be 30 or 40 years down the road from having my boys and not have joy and still be stuck and bitter. I want to live. I want to be able to laugh. I want to be able to play. I want to have joy. I want, I just want to be able to live. And so that question of, you know, how do I thrive was so good for like saying, here's my story, you do something with it. And that began the journey of uh working with people who had lost children, leading grief groups, um, adopting nine children. Uh, it led, yeah, it led to writing the book, it led to um starting anchor point that blesses thousands of people every year. All of these things happened because of the difficult season that I went through and learning to give that to God. And so in that room that night, what became very clear to me about legacy is that after holding four boys and they transition into eternity, everything to me is about eternity. It's like my world just totally flipped. And what I knew was I knew that when I left this earth, I wanted to leave a legacy that would impact people. But in order to do that, I had to be very intentional and I had to start living my legacy now so that I would leave, yeah, so that I would leave a lasting legacy. And so that has been the journey that um God has had me on. And it's what I love to do when working with people is to go, okay, I know we're stuck, but we can get unstuck for good, and we can do this, and the it's just a process, and we need to walk the process together. So that is what he allows me to do as I coach and lead people from that perspective. Um, but it's living our legacies now. That is what gets me excited.

SPEAKER_01:

I see that. I see that. That's that's a great story. You know, I know adoption is at the heart of your family story. As a mother of nine through adoption, what has been some of the most transformative lessons about love, resilience, and belonging that you learned along the way?

SPEAKER_03:

Sure. Well, first of all, love is wonderful, but love doesn't solve everything in trauma. Okay, it'll go a long way. But also, if we are going to enter into kind of adoption as um the adoptive parents, what we need to understand is it's not about us. And we can only take our children through their trauma stories if we have dealt with our own first. These kids are amazing. It's amazing how resilient kids can be. But but we have to be the safe people that can allow them to do it. So when we run, like at Anchor Point, I run therapeutic camps in the summer with families that have kids that are struggling. And um the biggest hangup is the parents haven't dealt with some of their stuff. And when their kid is losing it, it's triggering the kid, the parent, and the parents losing it, and then everything goes south at that point. And so, so I would say when we have brought these kids, I say God gives me lots of kids because he knew I needed to grow a lot. And so um I've had lots of times to be able to just go, okay, God, what is this in me and help me figure this out so that I can be fully present for these kids and I can be in their difficult situations, and I won't feel like it's a personal attack. I will feel like I can be the mom that they need me to be. And you know, I need to be able to help a kid when they're losing it. I need to be able to look in their eyes and see their preciousness and hear them saying, even though they're not saying it, hear them saying, Mom, I need you now more than ever, and I don't know how to tell you. And they might be cussing or they might be doing something other adverse thing, but that this is what I need to hear because this is what brings the compassion out of me to be able to go, I want to come alongside you. And you know, it's not any different for God. God looks at us and we're pitching a fit, and he looks at me and he says, Oh, Debbie, I love you. You are so cute, and I love being with you. Come here, let me hug you. And he doesn't require me to have it all together, he literally looks at me and goes, I love you. And then he looks at my mess and he goes, That's a big pile. But we're gonna we're gonna do it together. And I'm like, Okay, thank you, you know, and then but that's what these kids need too, and so what adoption has taught me is I get to be a re a mirror of Jesus to them and get to walk and understand God's point of view on all of this. It's pretty amazing the expanded kind of breadth I get of understanding of what grace he has for me and how that should flow through me to them. And so I would say, hey, it is chaotic, it's fun, it's messy, it's a beautiful masterpiece, and I get to grow the most. Um, but my kids are so resilient and have come through some hard things. And I just go, the more they work on this on their stories and work on their stuff, the more powerful their impact is gonna be. Now, what that means is that Satan is very interested in messing that up. And so we have to be very aware that he has a deep desire to tear that down and to keep my kids. And so is it hard? Yeah, it's hard, but we got to keep that in-game kind of in mind and realize that we're we know who wins in the end, and we're working really hard to keep our eyes on the prize.

SPEAKER_01:

So it's powerful. You know, you mentioned uh anchor, anchor point earlier. Uh ministry. I know the anchor port anchor point empowers families and supports women in crisis through faith-based guidance. Uh, what inspired you to create this organization and how has this mission evolved since it's been founded?

SPEAKER_03:

Sure. This obviously came out of my loss. Um, and this was something that God birthed a vision for in me was how can we help lift families in the tide of parenting, you know, raise the tide because our communities are only as strong as our weakest families. And um, I obviously, if I wanted to be a young grandma, I have a wonderful love of children and a heartbeat for them. And so this was just a natural extension of kind of the heartbeat that God gave me for my own children to see families in the community be able to be even more, to be better, to learn how to work through their stuff. And so um, as I went through Anchor Point, I mean, as I went through my journey, God's like, I want you to start this ministry. Well, you know, I'm a little hard-headed. And so my initial answer was, uh-uh, I ain't doing that. I'm like, that's gonna take a lot of time and money and effort, and I got to go tell people that I think I ought to start this ministry. That's like crazy. I'm like, no, no, no. And so we wrestled for a little while. And as you know, if you wrestle with God, generally you're not gonna win. And so over time, I have become a yes girl, but um, I finally said, okay, God, I'll do what you're asking me to do, and just started talking about it. And even when I talked about it, people were excited, and I'm like, no, not really. And then God just it was amazing to watch. God just opened door after door after door after door after door to make this ministry successful. So this is in the center of what God wants to do. He says for us in James to look after orphans and widows, and that we're to keep ourselves from becoming polluted by the world, right? Well, I got nine children that keeps me from becoming polluted because I'm too busy over here. And then you start a ministry to look at these families. So God is in the center of all of this, and it is fun to just be the people that get to go on the ride of doing the ministry. So, yes, we do come alongside of young girls and guys that find themselves pregnant and don't know what to do, and they need just uh loving guidance and reassurance that they can do this. And so we have a medical clinic, we do case management with families, we have a maternity home for girls that are um homeless, and then we do general therapeutic camps for families in the summer. We do trauma groups for sexual abuse and abortion recovery and all of these things just to get us these parents well so that they can be the people that they need to be with their kids and get their kids to adulthood so they don't become our clients. Um, because this, you know, I would tell you the mission has not changed. I actually drew it kind of on a napkin way back when, and started with one piece of it, and God has slowly built out every piece of it. Um, and I would tell you, probably the biggest things is I drew that picture, but we don't hold very tightly to it. We know kind of where we're going, but we basically say, okay, God, you open and close doors as you see fit. And maybe we would have done the third thing second, but he did the he did it in the opposite order, but he has continued to expand and grow that thing. And so I think what as leaders, what we need to understand is that we're not ultimately in control, and we can trust our daddy God, who's writing a good story, and that he will reveal the next steps to us um as we go. And he has done that, he's been so faithful in that that even in un in times that are unsecure, you know, or insecure, I um I just go, okay, God, how are we gonna get our way? How are we gonna get through this? I don't know how we're gonna do this. You're gonna need to let me know. And he does. And um I just see it continuing to grow. I am a person who wants us to continue to impact people. And there's more to impact. We there's no way we sit on the edge of Houston that has 8 million people and think we're done. Uh, there is a lot of work to do and a lot of work to be done across our country to help families thrive. And so the the better we are, the more volunteers we are have, the more things we can do, the bigger impact we can have. So we are always on the lookout, at least as long as I am CEO of how we can expand and how we can continue to impact families.

SPEAKER_01:

Awesome. You know, this is a legacy podcast. As you think about that word legacy, what does that word mean to you uh today? And how has the definition evolved through your unique experiences?

SPEAKER_03:

Sure. Well, you know, a lot of people will just default and say, you know, legacy is about like um the inheritance that you leave, um, money that you leave, your kiddos. Um, and that's a good thing. Don't get me wrong. I think that's a wonderful thing to plan and do that. But to me, legacy is about how I live today. Um, and how am I intentional about what God has called me to do, how I can make an impact, understanding that what I do today impacts into the future and well past when I leave this earth. And so am I investing seeds of legacy in my grandchildren? Am I investing them in my staff? Am I investing them in the clients that we come into? Everything. I mean, I would say that was the number one thing about losing boys was realizing how important it was to live my legacy so that I leave a legacy and I leave a good one. I mean, it's amazing to think about the fact that Anchor Point's gonna be here after I'm gone. And it's gonna continue to impact people. And I'm gonna meet people in heaven that I never knew got touched by Anchor Point. And they're gonna say, Hey, I was at Anchor Point, and I'm gonna be, that's so awesome, you know. And so I go to think that God would allow me to be able to participate in something so amazing and um transformational is just a privilege. So for me, legacy is about living it now with intentionality for God's kingdom, for his purposes. And I believe if most of us can get unstuck for good, then there is a lot that God wants to do in and through each and one of us to make ripple effects like that. And so that is why I do the coaching and the stuff that I do.

SPEAKER_01:

Well, it looks like you had a full journey and now you decide to write a book. Yeah. You decide to write a book. Uh, your new book, The Heart of Legacy, is a roadmap for living and intentional and leaving a lasting impact. What inspires you to write this book at this point in your journey? All things you know. What inspired you to write the book now?

SPEAKER_03:

That's a great question because you know what? Um, God told me to do it six or seven years ago.

SPEAKER_02:

Wow.

SPEAKER_03:

And we wrestled, because I just do that sometimes, and we wrestled, and I finally said, Okay, God, so I wrote it six years ago and typed it in the computer, and I called it my gift to God. And I'm like, I'm being obedient. Here you go, blah, you know, and then when I finished, I shut the computer and I said, check mark. God, I did what you ask. And I went on about my way. And uh, it was about a year and a half ago, so it's been sitting there, okay. So about a year and a half ago, God was like, It's time to get it out. And I'm like, Oh no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. This will mean I'll have to tell people about this. They'll read my story and no. And anyway, he uh we didn't wrestle long, but I was finally like, okay, God, I'll do it. And uh it's been fabulous to see how it morphed from my gift to God to this idea of the heart of legacy based on everything that we've talked about today. And really, it is just a better understanding of my story and how God walked me through my process. But the middle of the book is all about how we can live focused, faithful, and fearless lives. Um, and it gives you all kinds of application in there. And the last third of the book is transformational stories from anchor point. Uh, so I love the fact that God added those pieces to it because I don't want it to just be about me. I want it to be about us. And we're on a journey together and we're better together. And my job, you know, people reached back over the years and have pulled me along. And this book is just an opportunity for me to reach back and encourage people and bring them along in their journeys to be the impact and legacy players that God wants them to be.

SPEAKER_01:

You know, as you and I was cruising through the book as well, what are some of those uh just a couple of those foundational uh faith-based principles in the book that you believe every listener can apply to their own lives? Not giving the book away, but just a couple of those principles.

SPEAKER_03:

Well, you can give the book away too. Remember, it's free, so we want everybody to have it. So that's good. So we'll give that totally away um as a gift to your listeners. But um, you know, one of the most valuable ones is the one that I've already told you, and that is this idea of the next best step for each of us, okay, is that um we want to constantly be moving toward God, doing the things that he asks us to do. And when we don't know it, God is very clear that he will give wisdom if we will just ask for it. Okay, and so God, you know, I literally just go, okay, God, I don't, I don't know what to do in this situation. You're the you're the God of the universe, the creator of the universe, the Almighty. You know everything. You know that this situation that I am in is not a surprise to you. And so reveal to me what the next thing is that I'm gonna do. Generally, he's not gonna give us the whole vision for the end, right? Um, because if he did, it wouldn't require faith. Um, and so that's why he says, find the next best step, and then I'll meet you there, and then give you the next one, and I'll meet you there. And that To me, those questions of how do I survive and how do I thrive and the next best step, that is woven all throughout that book. But that applies for me not only in losing my boys, it's in how I parent, it's in how I have a relationship with my husband, it's in situations that I run into as CEO at Anchor Point or dealing with staff. Those things serve me well. Um, over, you know, like I'll give you an example. I had a um, I received um after COVID, a beautiful employee lawsuit, um, which I wasn't planning on receiving. Uh and what did I do? What did I do first? Why me and why this and why that? And I'm like, okay, that's not gonna go anywhere good. Then I'm like, okay, breathe. Got that. Now, what should be my next best step? Okay, God, what should be my next best step? And the idea of going to talk to my attorney came to mind. And in the case of a lawsuit, I would say talking to your attorney is probably a pretty good next step. Um, and then he taught he taught me how to work my way through that. And what we have to understand is that, you know, when we are squeezed as Christians, does Jesus come out? And everyone is watching, and so my staff's ability, my family's ability to learn how to walk through difficult things is based on what they're seeing me do. And that should be a mirror of how Jesus would do it. Um, and so that that is really those big nuggets that are in the center section. And there's lots of practical ones, but that is the heart of being able to have the heart of legacy and to live it now.

SPEAKER_01:

That's good. You know, as we as we come around the corner, uh, how can listeners support the mission of Anchorport, Anchor Point, I'm sorry, or connect with your work in your new book? Can you tell us how they connect with it?

SPEAKER_03:

Yeah. So one thing I would say is hey, a lot of you might not be in the Houston area, but you can definitely be engaged with Anchor Point. And the way you do that is I would encourage you to join our 911 prayer line text line. And what you get is you get a couple of texts each week and you get to pray on the front lines for our clients that are struggling and helping them make uh pave a way to make a good decision. You get to be the very front line. And we know that no matter what we do in the clinic room or in the life on life case management stuff that we do, we know that the road blocks are removed when prayer is done. And so I would say go to anchorpoint.us and just join that prayer team. And that would be an awesome way for you to get involved and learn more about anchor point and actually be one of my like prayer warriors that help us just make a difference. And then for me, um, for the book, you go to theheart of legacy.com and you can get it free right there. That is my gift to your listeners as a way for them to have their next best step. And then you can go to thedebi simmons.com and you can learn more about my coaching and teaching and speaking and get involved that way so that you can get some motivational things as you go through your week. Love to be on the journey with each of your listeners and all the social media handles are right there for each of those things.

SPEAKER_01:

This has been an awesome kickoff to season six. You know, I'm so excited that uh that you've taken the time out to share with us, not just to share, but to be transparent and be vulnerable and to share your story, but most importantly, to share how good God is. And how whatever situation we the Bible says is the Lord will never leave us and he'll never forsake us. Yes and your story is truly a testimony to that. And I want to encourage you in all you're doing with anchor point to know that God is well pleased. He definitely is well pleased. And how he's taking uh and how you've taken that uh quote unquote situation and made it a blessing for others, you know. I think God comforts us so that we can comfort others during their time. And you truly are comforting, and our audience has uh really been blessed by this. So I remind our audience uh uh to get a copy of the book. I got my copy, and definitely will be worth the while to encourage Debbie's share how to do all that. So, Debbie, thank you for illuminating our past and our listeners uh to a way forward. And I love how you said just one step at a time. Just one step because you were giving that analogy. I was thinking about football, how you go from one possession to the next possession. You know, you almost have to forget that fumble and there's no possession. You know, you gotta get back out there and keep going one yard at a time, one yard at a time. But the beauty of being believers is that we know that uh we win. We read the book. We read the book, so we know that we win. So I want to thank you, uh, Debbie, for being a part of the show today and joining us on our journey in season six. Until next time, uh continue striving to be a baller and building a lifelong legacy. Thanks, Debbie, for joining us today. Be blessed.

SPEAKER_00:

The Be a Baller Podcast is available on all major podcast platforms. This podcast was created by Coach Tim Brown and recorded and edited by the video production class of Worthington Christian High School. Be sure to come back next week as we continue to discuss on how to build a lifelong legacy. Until then, don't forget to be a baller.